


Straining for Possibility

by essenceanddescent



Series: Straining for Originality [3]
Category: The Strain (TV), The Strain Trilogy - Guillermo del Toro & Chuck Hogan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Intimacy, Love, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 22:12:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12351588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essenceanddescent/pseuds/essenceanddescent
Summary: A series of one shots for theStraining for Originalityseries.





	Straining for Possibility

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Savage Inconvenience](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8348572) by [essenceanddescent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/essenceanddescent/pseuds/essenceanddescent). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 
> 
> ## Disclaimer:
> 
> This one-shot occurs in the middle of my novel-length Strain fanfic, A Savage Inconvenience. It occurs after over 100,000 words of _plot and character development_. If you haven't read the fic, I highly suggest skipping this one-shot, as you'll have **absolutely zero context and understanding** surrounding the story/development that has happened to get the characters to this point and you may inadvertently judge the characterizations from a place of unintended ignorance.
> 
> Please, enjoy the one-shot. I put a lot of heart and thought into it. Thank you for reading!!!
> 
>  
> 
>  **Prompt** : "In the condo, what if the rocket never happened?"
> 
> This was a prompt requested by [@quintustheinvictus](http://quintustheinvictus.tumblr.com/) ages ago. I hope she enjoys it.
> 
> An "alternate" ending to [ASI: 12.4 - Sacrifice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8348572/chapters/20557636)

**[Silhouette (feat. Ellie Goulding) - Active Child](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F0Yp73Qo0CoR2P9kceNC46y&t=YTQ1NjBmYWZhMGVmMmNmNmY0ZjI3ZjY5MmFhMzhiZTM1MjA3MjM0Yiw0NnJ5c0dGRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AF-Bqvg5Pz2BRIprIYfqrRA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fstrainingfororiginality.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166364578548%2Fstraining-for-possibilities-1&m=1)**     

> _All I want is that you extend your hand to me_
> 
> _Singing outside waiting for the words to come_
> 
> _Living my life tryna do what’s right,_
> 
> _And hope for a better day_
> 
> _You know those words you wrote me brought me to my knees_
> 
> _All I’m saying is that_
> 
> _You’re home, you’ll never be alone_
> 
> _You’re home, you’ll never be alone_
> 
> _You’re home, to be alone_
> 
> _You’re home, hope you find your way home_  

 

She was shivering. He could hear it, even from the other room, laying on the couch, staring up into the ceiling with his hands interlaced over his stomach.

“Mr. Quinlan?” It was nearly a whisper. She might have said it, half hoping he wouldn’t hear, but he did.

He was up in an instant, standing in the doorway. “Yes?”

She was sitting up, clutching the thin blanket desperately to her chest. He could read her discomfort. “Is there another blanket?”

“No, there is not.” His answer was immediate and curt. He had no use for blankets. “I’ve no use for them … but … perhaps …” He swiftly retreated back to the living room and retrieved his coat. He was back quickly, laying it on top of her blanket as she eased back down. It easily stretched over the entire length of her short body and he smiled. She reached down to help situate it and her hand brushed his.

“Oh …” Her timid and cold fingers gripped his bare hand. “You’re so  _warm_.”

“All strigoi run  _hot_.” He said, feigning an attempt to pull from her grasp as he released the coat, now entirely covering her small frame. “You should sleep. We’ll need to leave early.” He could see the exhaustion in her eyes. It had been a  _long_  and frustrating day and they were both tired, however Quintus’ exhaustion stemmed more from an emotional place rather than a physical one.

“I know. I’m trying but it’s so  _cold_.” Her teeth chattered as she shivered again, still not releasing his warm hand from her hungry fingers.

“Here.” He pulled the covers back and at first, she was confused but that melted away as he sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his boots. “Make room.” Edging back away from him, she gave him plenty of space to slide in next to her between the sheet. Once he situated the blanket back up and around them, his hands reached out and pulled her body close to him.

_Mmmmm._

“Oh.” She reacted positively to his emanating heat and he denied the smirk that nearly escaped.  _No, Quintus._  Be serious. You aren’t doing this for– “You really don’t  _have_  to …”

“I do not mind. It is better now? Does this help?” He held in every impulse to smile at her, using the excuse of this coldness to pull her even tighter against his body.

_Oh gods._

“Yes.” Her voice cracked slightly, but she cleared it, attempting to show as much seriousness as he was. But he still heard the doubt in her voice and so he remained still as she did the same. Her eyes never closed and he tried to wait patiently, but the silence was nearly crippling. He considered telling her to sleep again, but deep down, he didn’t want her to.

What was she thinking right now? After how he had acted last night, he was sure having his arms around her was the last thing she wanted. He was normally so confident in every aspect of his life, but right now, he doubted that she would  _ever_ desire to be in his embrace again. In fact, he was nearly certain of it. Until finally she became animated and accepted him, wrapping her around his body as far as she could, soaking in his heat.

“Thank you.”

“It is fine. I really do not mind.” He  _really_  didn’t. Laying on that couch, so far away from her after everything that happened today was torture and he couldn’t stop thinking about last night and the feeling when Dutch showed him that chart–

“No. I mean about  _today_. Thank you for …  _helping me_.” The last two words were painful for her to convey and he understood why. Hating to admit the need for assistance was something they both clearly had in common.

“I deserve no gratitude for that.” He sighed. “It is I who should be the one to apologize  _to you_  for it. You wouldn’t have been in that situation if I hadn’t acted so …  _rashly_. I should not have locked you in that room.”

“I wasn’t honest with you …  _with any of you_.” Did she really think that she deserved that?

“No. That is no excuse for my action. I  _regret_  it … deeply.” Fundamentally. “And that is not the only thing I regret deeply.  ** _Regret_**  is the worst feeling to an immortal … it is far more painful than  _any_  physical torture.”

“Regret over what?” She pressed and he looked down guiltily, away from her eyes. His action was obvious in what he was trying to convey. He  _regretted_  last night. “That you didn’t get to sleep with me before I died?” She laughed, but a tiny snort escaped at the very end of her giggle. Normally, he would have found it somewhat amusing and he quite possibly would have grinned slightly, but his face remained serious. She was trying to deflect his seriousness and he didn’t appreciate it.

“No.” He stared for a moment. “Regret that I did not tell you the truth when I had the chance …”

“The truth?” Her tone was mocking him and the sound of it caused him to cringe. “You were actually really truthful.  _A little too truthful._ ”

His actions from the last night were obviously still an open wound to her and perhaps now was  _not_  the best time to speak about this, but as that thought danced across his mind, he realized the folly in it. She was here …  _now_. When he fell to his knees earlier this day, when he assumed she was already gone, he wanted nothing more than to have  _that instant_  back … and he had that now.

A second chance. Quintus had never been a coward before, and he would not be one now.  _Anything could happen at any point in time._

“Regret that I did not tell you how I  _honestly_  felt …” He could see her lips begin to part and he knew she was about to sway the conversation. Memories of his words were rushing over her and he needed to speak without further hesitation. He  _needed_  to tell her that … “As much as I wished to deny it last night, I only proved myself a fool to you. And as much as I can try to refuse it, it has simply  _already_  happened.”

“What in the world are you talking about?” Was her own self-doubt causing her to be  _that_  blind? “What has  _already_  happened,  _Mr. Quinlan_?”

 _Ugh. That damn name!_  She put inflection on it to really drive her use of it home, and it did. He twitched at hearing it and then he cringed from twitching, frustrated at himself for losing control as he  _often_  did around her. “That I cannot refuse it. It is  _already_  too late. I am simply  _already_  in love with you.”

He wasn’t sure what he expected from such a confession, but he remained still, watching her expression change rapidly. From denial, to surprise, to shock, and then finally to scrutiny. He let her paw over his words in her mind while he held back his growing desire to kiss her. He had been cruel and unjust and … he didn’t deserve her affection …  _yet_.

“I …” Her brows furrowed and he shook his head at her confusion and pending words. “I don’t know what you want me to say … You told–”

“I did not confess this  _to you_  for reciprocation, nor do I deserve it …  _yet_.” He resisted the urge to push his lips to hers, to pull her clothes from her body and  _show_  her how much he meant his words. To show her that, where she was concerned,  _intimacy_  and  _pleasure_  were the same thing to him. “Now please … “ He could not help himself. He pressed his lips to her forehead softly. “ _Sleep now_.”

He could see she wanted to speak again, but her mouth closed slowly as she gave a single nod and his arms pulled her tightly against his warm body, forcing her face to nestle against his chest. “The cold is better now?”

“Yeah …” Another nod and then a glance up, her eyes almost worried. “But don’t leave.”

“I will  _never_  leave you again.” He could read her embarrassed apprehension and he pulled her tighter, allowing her to burrow her face into the heat of his chest. “And I will stay here as long as you wish.”

She was so tired and he smiled when he felt her body relax fully against him, as she drifted off into a distant sleep, cuddled into his arms.

He watched her sleep for some time and then he stared off through the vast windowed wall of the condo, wondering what time it was, and how long he would have to wait for sunrise. He considered many things while he stared off into the broken and dead city, but his mind kept coming back to how he felt earlier this day.

He was emotionally exhausted from the  _loss_  and then the  _anger_  and then … the  _relief_. He thought about the terrible things he did the last time he felt that level of anger. He had burned  _Rome_  to the ground and everyone in it. And then he thought of that man he disemboweled, the man who smelled of her  _blood_  and he found himself crushing her slightly in his embrace. He wouldn’t have noticed he was doing it if she hadn’t squeaked in her sleep and he eased on the strength of his hug, finally tearing his eyes from the cityscape and staring back into her sleeping face.

He thought about many things, but mostly he thought about  _fate_. He had tried to ignore  _his destiny_  before and the  _Master_  made him  _regret_  that very much, but something was already so different about this situation. Whatever she was to his father wasn’t Quintus’ fault in any way. Whatever her fate might be, it wasn’t  _because_  of  _him_ and on some level, that was strangely comforting. He could no longer use the excuse that it was  _too dangerous_  for her to be with him, because it wasn’t. It was too dangerous for her to be  _without_  him.

Everyone in his life had always revolved around  _him_  and ultimately, their doomed fates were his fault. Ancharia’s fate had been  _his_  fault. Tasa’s fate had been  _his_  fault. Sura’s. Liviana’s. The Priestesses’. The woman and her child in London …

_He digressed …_

But Dawn’s fate was outside the realm of his guilt. Being with him wasn’t dangerous as she was simply  _already_  in danger. She was  _already_  a target of  _his father_  all on her own. And for the first time in his life, he relished in the fact that his presence was actually something positive for her. For  _her life_  … For  _her future …_  For  _her fate_.

Quintus thought about many things that night, dozing until he would eventually drift off to sleep with her small arms tightly woven around him, but, for the first time, none of it was actually about  _him_  …

 _Her_  fate.

 _Her_  destiny.

          … and  _her_  revenge.

 

* * *

 

Sandalphon pinched her eyes shut and sighed. She had seen this  _path_  many times and she would go back to its  _possibility_  sometimes. It would have been a beautiful future for them. They would have woken up, groggy and emotionally hung over from his confession. They would have tried their hardest to pull out of each other’s arms but would instead lose themselves in each other’s bodies, making love for the first time.

They wouldn’t have returned to the others. He would have convinced her it was better for them to run and he would have taken her out west, trying to stay one step ahead of the Master. He would have been  _so happy_  for the five years he would have had with her before they were eventually found, before she was taken from him and he was crushed by the rainbow-eyed, raven haired man-child.

In this timeline, he would never have  _unbound_  his little  _angel_  with the Professor’s white. He would not have stopped the Master from taking  _all_  of Ozryel’s power, from becoming unstoppable. He would not have halted the destruction of the  _Gate to Heaven_  or the unearthing of the  _Gate to Hell_. And in this world, overrun with demon and strigoi, he would have  _lost_.

_And there would have been no salvation for mankind._

_And there would have been no revolution in Heaven._

_And he would have_   ** _never_**   _seen her again._

“No.” Sandalphon sighed with incredible passion. This was  _not_  the story that needed to happen and she would  _not_  leave her friend to such a fate. “No, Cassius Densus. I’m sorry. You’re going to have to do better than this.”

And the wind blew against her face as she explored the next possible future …

_What if there was another sniper?_

 


End file.
